GreyAngelofChaos

My brain is something to be feared. Everything that comes from it is quite simply weird. There are two voices in my head. One good;one bad which once said:      "Kill yourself      you have nothing else      Kill yourself." To which the good replied with a verse swift.  "Don't give up life is worth it.   Thank God for your life don't curse it." I find myself listening to the sweet voice of life, while buried knee deep in strife. For now I shall cope with these matters, While I sit pray and hope for  the better.

I hear the rain hit my window It's so sad yet peaceful It's not bad but calming The drops falling… The drops forming together Reach a boundary then disband forever Let go and set free for a moment Dying to be without obstacles Trying to justify their reason Not fully realizing the truth Just misguided from youth

When I talk very few hear Wher I walk very few come near My loved ones don't acknowledge me I wonder if they can even see me I don't get hungry I don't get thirsty I always seem to get to places first I wonder if I'm under some curse My confusion continues to get worse All I do is wander around here Then I become filled with fear I see my body near I don't even shed a tear I start to feel weird I unexpectantly see the light pierce the dark No more worry is in my heart I walk to the light throught the door I don't know the reason for it I feel it best to explore As I go through I feel and know I'm at peace There's nothing I

Alone I have no one to love No one to hug All this pain but no drug can numb it My soul is empty nothing comes from it I'm done with all these emotions flowing open No hope then for me I can see no outlet that can salvage these pieces I'm speechless I seek death, I'm weak I keep this a secret from each one who seeded This desire is feeded by the despair I'm aware it's tearing me apart I feel no one cares that I'm stuck in the dark This pain has been marked on my heart That I feel it will spark the end of me No words could bring me home This feeling has been sown inside I'm alone tonight

Within So many decisions but none of them right Though I just can't  give up without a fight I just don't know what to do about this No words come from my mouth I can't talk without being filled with doubt I can't say these feelings out loud These thoughts go without a sound Just lost…... never found Everything comes at a cost, I'm not sure why My soul is filled with chaos...darkness and light

Trapped Alone Locked up in this place Apparently to keep others safe Put here since birth, though I'm still plotting my escape All these things I'm still trying to make sense of Because all my friends are let out Why can't I walk about the outside I wont cry because that's not me It's only us three Why do they get to see the light? I fight and fight dor my freedom but the lock won't break The things I cause will be taken for granted Everything becomes stranded in here Only because I landed the title of stranger, who's feared I'm anger that's here

The Sleeping Guards Their lives have been seized And now they guard the trees They have sacrificed their life To protect us from the thieves Even though they're gone You can still softly hear The beating of their hearts Of love without fear

Almost So close and so far Not fixed though not scarred All I'm hoping for is luck Then maybe just maybe I won't be stuck I'm reluctant to give up I'm not going to live through this To break free is my wish I wake to be… I take the chances around me I'm finally getting somewher My destination, I'm almost there By: John Castenell

Thoughts I walk through every path Every future every past moment Speculating what each word meant Figuring out what I was sent here to do Regretting every second that I lose Spending my time on this My final wish is to be free To witness peace in my soul To satisfy this need is my goal As I lie in this grief and cold I hold hopes in my skull By: John Castenell

Overcome My loss of grief has permitted me to start connecting With so many people But this poison will continue infecting me without end Testing me over and over again I fear that without my friends I will be overtaken It's been dormant inside my mind Waiting for the opportune time to reawaken I thought I was finally cured when I became happy. I did not forsee it regaining control over My whole body and soul. This grief has taken its toll on me It seeps into my very essence Like the darkness surrounding the cresent moon at night I don't have full control for my light is fading I can no longer fight without the light of others.